THE problem....

I think i figured out wad's da problem with life... or with mine anyway... All this pet talk about all my freinds not being good enough for me... about me not being allowed on holidays with friends.. oh.. did i mention girlfriends?? about me not being able to stay at certain friends houses... girls as well.. haven't even gotten over the gal part.. not intending to try asking about guys.. i can hardly stay over at chalets unless there's a chaperon.. i'm not even allowed to go on day shopping trips or chill out trips out of da country with friends.. can't stay out.. die die oso muz come home before 6 in the morning.. what's the difference anyway???

sigh... mom... MY MOM.... i love her to bits... BUT.. there has to be these few things that's a never ending argue between us... and... it's REALLY REALLY annoying... frustrating.. and everything else la...

ok.. in case u never knew, mom always had something to say about my friends.. ALL of them.. from those i'm really close too.. (yes yes.. she found somethings to comment on bout u people.. whether i told u or not, i don't know.. but whateva it is, i love u all to bits too yeah??) literally... ok.. sure she does care.. but it's like... my life... and even if she wants to shelter me.. how long can she do it for?? and.. what happens after she leaves or something like that?? learn the hard way?? or.. if she DOES continue sheltering me... how does she expect me to learn bout stuff?? am i gonna stay (in her words...) naive forever??

all along.. she's been worried about me getting hurt.. either by injuring myself.. or emotionally or physically hurt by people.. in particular.. guys... coz her life was... i guess... pretty messed up as well... she hardly approves of the people i go out with.. be it guy or gal.. and.. as for boyfriends.. or people i've been on a date with.. i think she's never approved a single one before.. not that i remember anyway..

i've been brought up... i'd say... in a very supportive environment.. in a way.. some might call spoilt.. but being brought up by just my mom.. i think she did a very good job playing the roles of both parents... and.. adding to that, while we used to stay with my uncle n auntie before in a rather big flat in bishan.. i was the only kid around coz he wasn't married yet.. therefore no kids.. i used to be spoilt rotten... i got everything i wanted... sooner or later anyway.. hmm.. yeah... everything... except a grand piano... that i'm still hoping and wishing for... everything's been.. perfect... yup.. pretty clothes... shoes... and more toys than any gal could ask for.. perfect is definately the word...

BUT.. REALITY CHECK!!!!!

i'm 19.. turning 20... time to join the real world... the world where no one or nothing's perfect.. it's definately not a fairy tale either... shit is almost always happening... ok.. there are times where u're on top of the world.. or.. at least on top of what you've gotta do.. but.. hey.. the fact is, SHIT HAPPENS!! everyone's flawed in one way or another.. that's what makes the world so an interesting place to live in.. everyone's unique... has their own charater.. morals.. attitude... upbringing.. preferences.. some of these people have less disirable characters and personalities than the others.. but nevertheless, still unique.. still special... no one's perfect... a person with a rather high education.. or EQ or IQ... might not be well mannered.. or.. might not have good etiquette.. and a person who's gentlemanly or who's really well mannered.. might not be well educated... bleahx.. but wad difference does it make really???

i've been brought up so that i can support myself.... support my expensive taste in stuff... and my insatiable appetite for nice and gorgeous things... haha.. sure it's expected that the guy should pay for dates.. or.. if we're talking about way in the future.. pay for utilities.. and everyday stuff... but.. that's still pretty much in da future.. too far to think... u think too far n u get a headache.. u don't think at all.. u got no idea where u're heading.. ironic ain't it?? ok.. wad i'm trying to say is that.. sure a guy must pay.. but... not all da time rite?? that's a lil too much i'd think... and so wad if he can satisfy u financially?? u're there all the time for him if he does.. coz u know he's ur walking atm.. but... he may not always be there to support u.. and knowing guys.. may not be able to tell when u need da support da most... sigh.. i know she doesn't want any guy to end off living off me... so ya.. sigh...

is he really that bad??
do perfect guys exist??
why's it that all my friends kind of approve and she's da only one who doesn't?? esp when most of them agreed with her that i should have wasted my time on the previous.. (sorry if i'm being blunt..)
haha.. will i stay single in da future n become a nun?? haha..

haha.. about the overseas stuff... haha.. i think she's more afraid that i'll be up to no good.. as in the whole.. sexual intimacy thing... den end up pregnant.. haha.. but with my girlfriends?!?! o_0 i wonder how that's possible.... and even so.. wad makes her think that if i really wanna be up to no good, i can't do it in s'pore?!?!? really makes u wonder doesn't it??

and if i say i wanna stay at chalets or over at a friend's place.. she'll go.. "why?? u don't have ur own home isid?? ur bed not comfortable enough arh??" it's like.. com'on... it's just for the sake of hanging out.. chilling out.. bitching... having fun... chatting... not like we're doing anything illegal... as for having friends over at my place... she's like... "they don't have a house??? but.. i guess it beats u going over to their place.." like.. HELLO! reality check.. i DON'T have my own room... and.. seriously.. my mom scares the shit out of most pple... doesn't she?!?!?!?! haha.. everyone's more or less scared shitless... and... not enough space la.. den becoz grand sleeps with da door open.. cannot make much noise.. where's the fun in that???

sigh.. at this rate.. even when i turn 21.. i'm not sure if i'll be able to take short trips with friends.. it's like.. so fun la... now i can only dream of that.. while hearing friends say they went to genting for a wkend.. or.. hk... or.. somewhere.. anywhere in m'sia... or.. bintan.. or batam.. or wadeva works la.. sounds so fun... such a nice time to enjoy with friends.. oh well... guess i gotta be content with wad i have for now...

dunno bout da r/s though..