hmm... it's amazing how your life can just suddenly crash so badly... and burn.. thing is.. the burning has kind of never stopped... as if my life wasn't hard enough to juggle all my activities, from work, to school, to bowling, to church and to other stuff like the people around me... friends and family and alpha... ok.. so this post is definately gonna be me drowning in my own self pity... yes.. drowning... but i can't take it anymore.. so juz let me whine k? if u don't wanna read, dont! not forcing u... heh...

ok.. this is it... 2 major bowling tournaments that need me to go all out of my comfort zone of doing my own work without disturbing other people... heh... now, need to do a lot of paper work.. and at the same time, work everything thru with my advisor... adding on to that.... it's almost all the same all the time.. busy busy.. no time to do anything I want... (note the capital i...)

the really morning's latest, or should i say the week's latest, spady doesn't seem keen on the way we're treating him.. therefore, the vet had to remove the catiter (or howeva it's spelt..) some tube thingy stuck in him so that we can put liquids in thru it... yar.. wadeva larh.. so yar... our only alternative left is to jab him directly now... everyday... well.. thing is, mom and i can't bring ourselves to jab him... and i can't do anything else... wad's left is to let him lead a good and comfortable life... i can't stand the fact that i juz have to sit there and watch it all happen without doing anything....... probably everybody's "cursing" has really come troo... everyone's saying that they wanna cook him in curry... or saying that we should juz leave him on the streets and let him suffer... or stuff like that... why i cant' i do anything??!?!?!?! argh...

other than that, my laptop got stolen in the canteen during lunch yesterday... all in a span of 5 minutes... that's like the saddest larh... now i gotta rely only on my brain to retrieve all the info i have in there for my club and my school work and all... and why me? why not someone else?! hope i remember all da details in my laptop... otherwise, i'm so dead... heh... anyway, laptop thing is a long story.. but as u can kind of tell, using my friend's lappie currently... as for me... well, i really got absolutely no idea how my mom or dad's gonna find the cash to buy a new one for me... insurance haf larh.. but how much can u claim!?!? police report, also have.. but how much can they do... NP student population 10 000 over... and it's like finding a needle in a haystack... so frustrating larh....

this is one time i definately can't take anymore shit... everyone's so stressed already.. and me being me, i'll still sit there and listen to any stories/complains... but i'd juz wish people would stop thinking only about themselves for once...

won't be bloggin anymore for awhile.... i think.... won't be online other... home pc got virus... yar... oh well...

but i still don't understand why me?! what on earth did i do to deserve all this?!?! argh....

bye...

Sigh.. it seems like all my posts are becoming really depressing... maybe i'm depressed... maybe i'm too stressed... maybe it's just all a big test... ah! i know! maybe it's all a dream.. come on... tell me i'm dreaming... it seems all too disastrous.. wish i were a kid again... carefree and all...

on this quite fine sunday nite... instead of just checking mails, playing games and watching tv, i find myself evaluating more about this morning's worship session with desmond, at the same time, giving weijie (publicity head) and arthur (asst. projects head) details about the events... on top of that, i've got my mom screaming at me telling me that i shouldn't go over to alpha's house too much juz becoz they've got more facilities there.. and she's also shoving the article about people with insufficient sleep may be more prone to cancer and stuff like that... den a minute later, she's asking me to quit my job coz they don't pay when we get sick for working too much... she doesn't want me to work late coz she's worried that i won't be able to get on with the next day's activities... i know how she feels... but there's no other shift i can take.. not even on weekends becoz of training and church... so... bottom line is....... if i quit work, i got no money to bowl.. if i don't bowl and work, there's a high chance i'll spend more cash on shopping and eating... sigh...

and besides that, mom's upset coz spady's sick.. and he's being naughty.... we're doing the best we can for him, but he's doing the best he can to not help.... heh... and... besides that, she's spent 500 plus on his medical... ex larh.. my pay oso need to go there liao.. another of her "headaches" is that grandma is still thinking that raquel (her care-taker aka maid) keeps cursing and screaming at her... basically, she'll find someting and anything to argue about... oh... she basically tells me everything.. so hmm... not exactly in that good a mood...

will continue next time... for now, i gotta do a proposal for the NP invitationals... gotta train hard to stay in the school team... gotta work hard to keep spady and my bowling leisure thingys going.. gotta study hard to not disappoint people... gotta put time aside for church friends, and other friends too... they're all important to me! =) besides that, gotta find time for my family.... and lastly, gotta keep time for alpha too... oh... i forgot... i need to sleep... hahaha... so yarp.. the alpha thing's the second last.... the last is i need time to rest... i kind of found out that napping on buses doesn't really help much....

til next time... =)

okok... to all my silent readers out there... thousands of apologies for not updating my blog... been busy.... really really busy...

well.. since my last update til last weekend, i've been busy working.... my original intention was to have extras to go bowling and to buy christmas pressies.... ( it is coming ya noe...) anyway.. yeah.. so i worked 4, 3, 4, 6 days each week for the last month... but i guess my money has to go to more important causes like bringing spady to the vet.. his medical fee has already cost mom more than 200 bucks.. he's done an ultrasound.... a blood test... den a jab of antibodies... and other stuff... we've gotta like pump saline into him to flush out all abnormalties kind of thing.. and.. yeah... oh well.. he's got kidney problems.. so troublesome... but i'd rather be troubled than loose him on da whole.. so oh well... my poor baby.. he looks so uncomfortable... sometimes larh.. not all da time...

next update.. school's started... like duh... and... i've gotta crack my head to make sure all my events get executed.... argh.. so much to do.. so little time... 1 proposal... 2 budget plans... booking of lanes... ladidardidar... wadeva larh...

next up... alpha's moved... i shall be his official announcer... haha... hmm... well, i love his place.. and for once, his wardrobe is nice... nicely packed... neat... haha.. done by urs truely... so happy... happy for him.. and well.. half of me is happy.. but da other is not... happy coz of da obvious.. nice new place... he's happy, i'm happy.. other half of me is thinking whether we'll have enough time for each other.. reason being my world kind of revolves around town and amk area.... and he's at like.. far far away.. sure it's near school.. but how long will i be in NP for? sigh... i'm so tired already... but i don't really have a choice do i?! oh well....

cheerio!