It's been quite some time...

since my last blog update about swimming. well, let's juz say the only reason why i really went swimming that day was to try to think.. to vent out frustrations.. to try to come to a conclusion..

well, since then, i'm no longer with terence. sad?! yes.. but on the other hand, it juz didn't make sense anymore. couldn't see any possibility how things could improve or work out given the circumstances.

so anyway, yeah. even though it hurts, let's juz say i feel more liberated.. happier. free to move on with my life being just me. yes. i know it sounds selfish. but ah well...

i've gotten scolded by so many peoople about thinking and caring too much about others and instead, neglecting myself. so prob the most major choice that i've made for myself. prob no one has any idea how i'm warring with myself. but i think it should be a right choice.

juz move on, find myself back. find the me that i used to know.. and start loving myself again. from there, we'll see how it goes...

Swimming...

since it's been such a mind blowing wk, took da first chance to go vent and let out all my emotions.. and what better way to do it than swimming.. (in a totally gorgeous new swimsuit that i bought for myself!) oh.. of course bad habits like impulse shopping for shoes came back too.. but that was just one pair that i couldn't say no to.. haha.. =) yes yes, i'm still a sucker when it comes to shoes.. and yes! i still love my heels very very much..

anyway, yes, back to swimming.. let's juz say that much has happened in the span of 1 wk that i was crazy enough to wanna do 20 laps in the olympic pool after not swimming for... hmm.. i don't know.. maybe a few yrs back?! since before i lost weight i think..

first, let me bitch about it.. haha.. public pools are the most ANNOYINGLY crowded place you can be at on a wkend.. it was crawling with people.. and not to mention some really slow people taking swimming lessons. i know everyone goes thru that stage.. but com'on! they really shouldn't use up every single portion of the pool.. especially when they're training for their medals.. gets annoying to have 3 lanes of kids bobbing up and down smack in the centre of the pool... couldn't swim in a straight line.. couldn't complete the lap without having to stop in fear of ramming into some struggling kid.. let's juz say it got on my nerves.. so after abot 5 laps in the olympic pool, we migrated our stuff and ourselves to the 0.9 m pool coz my dear nell's got a phobia of deep water.. (not that i've got a problem with her phobia..)

thing is, when i got into that pool, i think i had the look of total shock on my face.. i kept looking down to see if i was standing on some platform that was raised. i honestly couldn't believe that i was standing in a swimming pool with water only up to my waist.. -_-" i haven't been in that kind of a pool since before i learnt how to swim i think.. more than 12 years back already. just too used to olympic sized pools and diving pools. heh.. but anyway, since nell felt better there, and it wasn't as crowded, i juz thought wad the heck.. i'm guessing the length of the pool we ended up swimming was only about 25m... so i'm guessing i did about 10 laps...

not too bad i guess.. now i'm juz praying my thighs don't start hurting tmr..

goodnite world!

imagine if...

Imagine if we were still living in ancient chinese times....

I think i'd be chained within the compounds of my house.. or maybe even my bedroom... and everytime i wanna take a step out, i'd probably be accompanied by maybe a handful of bodyguards or something... hmm.. if chasity belts existed then, i'd probably have to wear one 24, 7 too...

besides that, i'd probably be match-maked to some high society guy.. the type that'd make my family proud but den again.. they prob wun give a shit about my feelings.. haha..

but juz da thought of it can make's me shudder... eww....